During a recent coaching session, I sensed that my client was holding onto a bigger challenge than what they let on, so I asked permission to go on a truth-seeking mission together, posing some very difficult questions. We traversed their present life circumstances, and like a physiotherapist using their hands to locate the knots and tensions held inside their patient’s muscles, we dug our metaphorical thumbs in when it got painful and found exactly where the “ick” was.
We broke open some old thinking, allowing it to entropy and make way for the new.
The greater awareness by the end of the session was obvious. My client hadn’t previously realised the extent of the tensions which had arisen from unexpressed needs and preferences, and was grateful to be not just aware of certain mental patterns running under the surface, but tooled-up to have the necessary challenging conversations that might provide relief from that dull ache over the long term. Conversations with self, and with others.
Any tools gathered when we’re exploring the inner landscape are much like the exercises the physio prescribes - if you want to get better, you have to use them.
That can be hard. That can hurt.
One of the best exercises, and most effective, is telling the truth. Ideally, wielding it skilfully through the ancient art of communication. Though, many of us tend to have moments of un-skilfulness when it comes to certain matters of the heart…
So how do we get to that truth, let alone wield it?
I’d suggest you’re already sitting on top of it.
Questions, met with curiosity, openness and a dose of courage for good measure, help to reveal that truth. You can practice asking and answering questions with someone else—a trusted friend or acquaintance or professional—or you can simply take out a pen and paper and write about what’s going on for you. A long walk can even do the trick; try setting an intention to answer a specific question next time you go outdoors for some movement.
Sometimes it’s painful to admit the truth to ourselves. It has a habit of not aligning with other more convenient thoughts, so we’re forced to face the aforementioned entropy, and accompanying discomfort.
That doesn’t mean you don’t pursue it, though. Nor that you must. You get to choose.
With that, I want to leave you with this question today (take it or leave it):
What truth are you currently sitting on that you have you been unwilling to bring into the light?
Take your time with this one.
And when it comes with what to do with it? Certainly no rush on that either. Unless there is, in which case I trust you’ll feel it and know what to do next.
Thank you for showing up.
Keep showing up.
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