Updated: Dec 2, 2019
It's that time of year again. Christmas is over, some of us may be on holidays, others working a few days before another short interlude from the daily grind arrives in the form of the New Year public holidays. If you're anything like me, you might be feeling a bit "caught in between", pondering the meaning of life, questioning your previous choices and wondering what 2019 could possibly have in store. Well, I'm here to give you one sure way to make 2019 one of your best years yet.
Start 2019 by telling yourself, and believing, that you are enough.
'Waaah!' I hear you say - 'another one of these woo-woo blah-blah self-love abundance, soul-nourishing blah-blah-blah blog posts!' A couple of years ago I would have said the same. However, having seen one of my darkest years yet in 2017 and spending a large part of 2018 walking toward the light (aka"finding myself"), I think I'm a bit qualified to say that reaching a point where you feel like you are "enough"goes a long way to improving every area of your life. "Enoughness" (inventing a word here for simplicity sake), is a very basic concept, but it is the springboard to so many profound improvements you can make in your life. Why would you go through all the effort of losing weight for your New Years resolution if you didn't think you were enough? You just wouldn't bother to nourish your body. Why would you stop smoking, because if you don't think you're enough then you're surely not deserving of the amazing health benefits which are likely to flow from flicking the butt for good. Why would you spend money on a gym or yoga studio membership or buy yourself a nice new outfit which makes you feel great if you don't believe you are enough? I could go on and on but I think you get my point.
Enoughness, and whether or not we can believe in ourselves, is something that is programmed into us from such a young age. A lack of feeling enough can of course arise from various types of trauma or deprivation, but it could also be as inconsequential as 'daddy was always working and too busy to play with me' or 'my parents must like my older brother more because he gets to have new things while I get only second hand things.' We can go through years, decades and even a lifetime not giving thought to where these feelings of not being enough might have come from; we just accept them as fact. Not all of us are ready and willing to open up the heavy box we carry which holds our past and investigate our deepest feelings in order to find freedom from them. And that's okay too.
Regardless of whether or not you are ready to go back and find out where it all began, you should simply remember that every baby came onto this Earth knowing, thinking and believing it was wonderful, amazing and way way more than simply enough. Every baby you see laying in its pram looking up at you waving those hands and kicking those feet as if to give you the message 'I'm so freaking awesome, I'm adorable, don't ya just wanna cuddle me!?' That was you too once upon a time. That was me. That was your mum, your dad, your siblings and your own children too. And herein lies the evidence that if we, today, as grown adults (or teenagers blossoming into one), have a belief that we are not enough, then we must have learned this somewhere, somehow. And it's not true. That belief might have been helpful at one point in time back along the way. But wonderful human, I'm here to tell you that right now, it's not helpful: it's just holding you back. So let it go.
It's not so easy to transform your beliefs with conscious thought, and it might not happen overnight, but here are some useful ways to start believing that you are enough:
Mark your mirror with "I am enough" - sounds silly but just try it and read it to yourself every day. I do it too!
Kill ANTs whenever you spot them - ANTs = automatic negative thoughts, like when someone doesn't smile back at you in the street and you automatically think it's because you're a terrible person. It's not. It's them, not you. Each time you notice one of these - flip it! E.g. '...they must be having a bad day.'
Schedule you-time - try spending more time in nature to reconnect to yourself (sans smart phone, if you please) and allow that space to have an inner dialogue with yourself.
Dialling-up your enoughness-meter will launch your 2019 to new levels. If you're typically a "yes person" living your days in service of others then enoughness can allow you to set healthy boundaries respectfully. If you're a freelancer or self-employed, believing you are enough might equip you to charge the right price for your services because you'll know your worthy of the monetary reward (money block anyone?). Enoughness can empower you to take charge of your health, whether that means a lifestyle change or letting go of bad habits, because you'll know you're worth it. Your loved ones will be so grateful, because the more you take care of you, the more you can be there for them both emotionally and physically and the more likely you are to live a longer, stronger and healthier life. Quality and quantify both count. Once you value you, others will value you more too.
If you're fed up feeling less than enough, then 2019 is your year to change it. A beautiful opportunity for personal growth. Take it with both hands, and know that it will feel awkward and hard and unfamiliar at times, but it's soooo worth it. You are worth it. If you need help on this journey, I can help, and there a lots of other qualified people like me who can help too. So don't be a stranger, share your journey and start today (it's practically 2019 now anyway...).
As not to disappoint you and leave out the fantastic buzz-words currently floating about in the wellness space:
May 2019 bring you abundance in all areas of your life and may your self love [which is not selfish] reach levels it has never seen before, as you nourish your mind, body and spirit this year.